The Challenge: Temperance. Just like in the classic tarot, the main symbol of this card is balance. In your case this balance is not just a simple emotional and mental equilibrium, because that is no longer possible, your multi-dimensional perception of the world and existence it's self makes the type of balance, which requires ignorance inopportune to obtain, your kind of balance is inner alchemy, where you transmute everything that doesn't match your truth into purified, distilled energy that can be integrated into your reality. This might not be that hard to accomplish when the spiritual and material aspects of your life aren't a contradiction to each other, but the problem is, that in the present moment the two don't really match and there is absolutely nothing you can do about it. This isn't just negative self talk, this is rather physical reality, you have already exhausted most of your options, you have tried whatever was in your power, from every single perspective to make a massive breakthrough, and even though progress was made, things did happen, it's very far from being ideal and not because you have way too many expectations or impossible to meed standards, but because you are seeking peace, a life that can offer you the serenity to just be with yourself, to embrace the simplicity of being alive, to just immerse in the eternal present and just allow your mind, heart, the wholeness of your being to expand and become less dense, than the world of matter. While you manifested so many things, everything is just way too complicated, stressful, lots of strings attached and while the person who you once were could accept and work very well with all of this, the awakened being that you have become, just can't operate like this, peace is something that you simply can't surrender, you need to obtain it... at all costs. The challenge of this card is very tricky, for it's message appeals to the rational part of your being and it wishes you to become aware, why the one things you desire above else just doesn't enter your reality: without even realizing it your mind became extremely powerful and a mind that is more comfortable with a quantic perception of reality, rather than the usual “OK I exist, now let's survive by any means necessary” , has to be shielded, hidden, restricted until you are able to contain the kind of power which you possess and the “shield” has to always match your power level, so it won't allow anything to enter your life, which can offer you your freedom and peace on a silver plate. The Opportunity: 9 of Air. This is the most negative card in the Gaian deck, it symbolizes suffering, depression the dark night of the soul. This is a very twisted kind of opportunity, because it's closely linked to the challenge of the previous card: freedom, the way of life which you seek is going to enable you to heavily influence collective reality with your meditative states, so no matter how wise, strong, diligent, good willed you are, no external force can shatter your “shield”, which is more like a prison in the present moment, this can only be done by you. All the emotional turmoil that you are experiencing, all the stress and anxiety which sources from being denied the way of life that your soul calls for, is creating a very powerful negative charge inside of you, one that you can usually manage, but as time goes by and your impatience and suffering grows, so does the force of the inner black hole and this is where the opportunity comes into play, for the negative charge inside you is a gift, a gift which you have to use to cut through your own shield and allow the collective energies to start pouring into your life. Shape your sadness, your despair, your dissatisfaction into a spiritual “blade” and not only will that cut through the invisible barrier preventing your mind from influencing reality to your full potential, but it will also attract the attention of every consciousness present in the atemproal Universe (in every state and timeline you existed) which one way or another “owes” your soul help.
Resolution: Elder of Fire. Once your barrier is shattered, once the energies of collective reality start pouring in, everything is going to be a resource for you to create the way of life your soul calls for. The Elder of Fire is your past and future alike, because in every lifetime this was the role you played: a wise person who takes on the role of an ambassador between the world of matter and the invisible aspect of reality.
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